Day No.116: White Noise

Today I was supose to receive a package that entails what is a way to fight vermin in this world. But all I got was a brush and paint. White paint. Maybe they've mailed the wrong package? Hmm, the cell does need to be spruced up a bit.

Did the gnu step on the aa? Perhaps it was the ibex who was eating the ziti by the voe. So I painted my cell. White. All I need now is to reset. This world to reset. All I need is one button to send me to Charon and I can have free methane for life!

Mom doesn't know how to bake cookies, but she makes a mean java!

Day No.103: Only If

I've been concerned with the amount of lard hanging around me. They've been like best buds with me for years. I wonder if I'm coming to a point where I'd say goodbye. So long, farewell.

I've thought of shutting my peephole before. But where can I get quality edinayc? Perhaps in the place where the darkest and most foul legions of demons exist. They seem to thrive in the dark.

Day No. 95: Monkey, scrabble my brain.

Perhaps it's a love for words, but I wouldn't say the right ones, not to anyone here. Thery're all men and I wouldn't risk being a queer monkey. The words don't add up to anything, maybe except the 100 dirndls which I might keep and give to my future girlfriend when I get my hairy ass outta here.

Ual Nitsuj has been keeping me company the past few weeks. He's been training me in the art of luck, but his is so good I got my butt spanked red. I tell him I'm a tightwad and only goes for quarterly haircuts. Look at Eilrahc, he cuts only twice a year!

I'm training for abs of steel now. Perhaps when I take Wohc Nehpets tight right fist I wouldn't feel anything. Maybe I should just do what Bret did, cheat. Maybe I should upgrade to titanium alloy. The discovery of Charon today made me feel like $64,000. I heard it was discovered on the same day as I was borne. I feel so cold and distant now, like Charon. I wonder if aliens breathe methane gas?